Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Is He Ready to Commit? How To Tell If He Is A Bad Boy In Disguise.

Dating a guy who seems charming, romantic, and in other words, perfect, can really make you feel you have hit the dating jackpot.  He knows what to say, when to say it, and makes you feel like Juliet to his Romeo.  You're ready to commit.  

But how do you know he's in it for the long run?  Take a closer look at his behaviour and decide for yourself if he is your dream man or really a bad boy in disguise.  If he shows any more than one of these signs, you may want to observe him a little longer to see if his motives are heartfelt, or if he's looking at the relationship as a short term diversion. 

1.  Within the first 3 weeks, he says he is in love with you.  We all know how hard it is for many guys to say the "love" word.  Most guys will divulge their true feelings only when they have known you long enough to introduce you to their friends and family.  They at least hold back until they have taken you out to more than dinner and drinks.  If your guy lets on that he has fallen head over heals for you after only a matter of days, maybe he has had a lot of practice committing hard and fast.  But in this case, practice doesn't make perfect.  

2.  He talks poorly about most of his past girlfriends.  It is possible that not all of his girlfriends were normal.  Maybe his ex's weren't for him, but could all of them be that bad?  If he uses words like "crazy" or "psycho" to refer to more than one of them, odds are he was the one who acted crazy or psycho and did not behave kindly towards them. 

3.  He's not consistent in making plans with you.  If he has-to-see-you-or-he-will-die one day and you can't even get him on the phone the next two days, he is not used to being available in a relationship.  He's all about him, him, him.  He'll answer your messages and make a date with you when he needs your hot body, not when you need him either emotionally or physically.

4.  He hasn't introduced you to his family or friends.  A guy who repeatedly arranges dates with you that don't include meeting his inner social circle (such as double dates, parties, or dropping in to see his parents) may be trying to keep you emotionally at arm's length.  A man who only takes you out for dinner alone, invites you to his place for a movie or a long, evening walk, may seem romantic, but he could be avoiding letting you in on his personal life.  If he is serious about your relationship, he will let you in on his private life.

Above all, trust your instincts.  

If he takes his time getting to know you before he proclaims his undying love for you; speaks well of his past girlfriends even if they weren't for him in the end; and is available when you need him, he may be looking towards developing a committed relationship with you.  

But if he seems over the top perfection incarnate from the get go, you may just be looking at a dud. 

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